I knew going into 2022 that it would be the end of an era. Like I just knew that it was the “last year” of this season of my life. I remember feeling like I needed to rush to savor all my relationships because they would change and look different in 2023. I was right, friends have bought homes out of the city, moved countries, gotten engaged, lost loved ones, and are embarking on some REAL life adult sh**. Almost ALL my close relationships look different than they did a year ago.
How does this make me feel? I’m not sure. On one end, duh?! That's what happens when you grow up. On the other, it feels like the end of a great TV show, like the show insecure. Issa Rae and HBO announced the last season and we were all like NOOOO we love the show, one more season please….but we also knew that at some point all those characters had to “grow up” and the lifestyle and friendship they all had would change eventually and they did.
What does this have to do with my reflection on 2022? Well, it has everything to do with the “last” season of this show called my 20s. I look at my “goals for 2022” and really my only goal was to have HABITS and if I look back, I did quite well BUT I didn’t make any goals for my relationships. So for 2023, my plan/goal is to simply ENJOY my relationships and prioritize them over work & routine.
With that, let’s actually reflect on 2022…… the year that brought A LOT of Change with it; the good, the bad, the ugly, and the life-changing.
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly; Career
The Good - I got a new job; woot woot, more responsibility, manager title, opportunity to build a team, build a program, and really put into application what I learned the year before in my MBA
The Bad – is I got a new job; lol no one talks about the toll a job transition can take on a person’s mental health. Being the new person, establishing trust, the learning curve, being a first-time manager; realizing that ADHD is a thing that might affect my management style
The Ugly – Although I am a GREAT Boss (if I do say so myself) and I enjoy it, I don’t think/know if it’s the best fit for me mentally. I know this is only the first year and it takes time to grow into your management style BUT wow it’s been a tough year to lead people. Still trying to figure out, what comes next, especially because I took a pay cut to take on this role.
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly – Health
The Good – hearing about my PCOS diagnosis at the end of 2021 was a wake-up call; I knew that 2022 had to be different. So, I started by praying/fasting at the top of the year. I then started developing better habits like cooking (dairy-free & gluten-free), seeking the help of personal trainers, nutritionists, and doctors, etc to get on supplements, etc. The good news is these habits paid off, I lost 16 lbs, lost the addiction to food, and created healthy habits that not only helped physically but also mentally. Developed a STRONG routine and haven’t felt better in my body mentally and physically in my life.
The Bad – Investing in your health is EXPENSIVE lol, on the last tally I think I spent $6000+ this year on health. It not only costs real dollars & cents it’s also mentally draining. I had to go through 4 trainers, and 3 rounds of supplement protocols to find out what worked (soooo much nausea) still trying to figure out the best balance tbh. Legit at one point, 1 of the “specialists” I was seeing had me on 20 tablets a DAY! This life is no joke.
The Ugly – honestly other than the side effects of medication, there are no other tangible UGLY sides of getting healthy…..Actually, I lied, my relationship with food is very different. I have a lot of dietary restrictions and believe it or not, it affects how I eat in social settings. Haven’t fully figured it out but still working on it.
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly – Dating & Relationships
The Good – I am no longer terrified of romantic relationships as a “concept” any more. I used to have soooo much fear around this area of my life. Fear of disappointment, fear of heartbreak, fear of being misunderstood, just afraid of putting myself out there altogether. I put myself out there and actually met someone…..although it didn’t work out, I learned a lot about myself.
The Bad – So much has come up to the surface for me in this area. I used to hear people talking about how “relationships act like a mirror” and I think I understood it in theory but in practice WOOWU. Understanding your attachment style, communication style and your boundaries in theory is a GREAT thing but when there is another human being in front of you and you have to put it into practice, it takes on a different meaning.
The Ugly – Heartbreak is a real thing; I know as millennials we joke and laugh about “chopping breakfast” (for all my Canadian friends, this means going through heartbreak). It doesn’t make it hurt less. As much as it sucks right now, I know that God is a redeemer and a restorer and I hope that this time next year, I’m singing a new tune.
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly – Spirituality
The Good – My faith and hope had to GROW tremendously this year. At the top of the year, my verse of the year was Psalms 32:8 – I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. I found myself hanging on to EVERY single word from God because between anxiety, heartbreak, and grief, I needed HIM.
The Bad – I had to leave my church community of 7 years right at the beginning of 2022. It was not because of any bad reasons, I just felt God was calling me into a new community in this season of my life that would foster more growth. Finding and getting integrated into a new community was harder than I thought it would BE. Again, being the “new girl”, meeting new people, finding a new team to serve on, being vulnerable, and letting people see you…WOW, it was a lot.
The Ugly – experiencing grief this year from losing a family member put SOOO many things into perspective. I wrote a whole blog about grief and faith…. but yea, this year was a LOT from a spiritual lens.
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly – Life/Adulting
The Good – After 8 years, I am now a FULLY licensed driver in the province of Ontario 🎉 it’s crazy how you put something off for YEARS and YEARS, and then you do it, and just like that you can move on with your life. I also was able to go on 7 trips (5 countries and 6 cities). I pushed myself out of my comfort zone a few things during those trips and for that I am grateful.
The Bad – Some of those trips were unfortunately not for happy occasions. Sooooo much money was spent this year😩, between inflation, pay cuts at work, health costs, etc. this was an expensive year.
The Ugly – Anxiety is B**** and although I am in therapy, praying, and building healthy habits it's, unfortunately, something that still exists in my life…. driving anxiety, food anxiety, relationship anxiety, work anxiety, travel anxiety, and some others. My hope however is to renew my mind with the word of God on a DAILY basis because I know for a fact that he has not called me to live a life full of anxiety.
Side note BUT not so side note, I feel very compelled to pray for anyone reading this blog that experiences anxiety of any form; God sees you, he hears you and he is a good God. Call out to him, be vulnerable with him and allow him to take control of your life, and then actually surrender it to him. I pray that this upcoming year you receive the peace that passes all understanding in ALL your endeavors.
Lastly, I encourage you to also reflect on your year tangibly; sometimes it’s not all about checking boxes on accomplishments but more about examining your heart and your experiences.
So, with that, I thank 2022 for all the lessons and I BEG 2023 for “soft life”; PULEASE!
Till next year;
Love & Light.
Ibiyemi