Having a scarcity mentality might low-key holding me back 🙃

I’ve been wanting to write about this for a few weeks now, but I was hoping it wasn’t true. Alas, it’s true. 

Before I get into all the amazingly funny, and sometimes horrifying details, some of you might not know what Scarcity mentality is. So what is it?

 One definition says that “scarcity mentality is a way of thinking that is centered on the belief that resources, opportunities, and success are limited.”  It can lead to feelings of anxiety, jealousy, and stress. Another definition says “A scarcity mindset is when you obsess over what you lack, whether it’s time, money, or something else while also believing you will never have enough.

There are many reasons why someone can develop a scarcity mindset; growing up in poverty, having traumatic experiences in relationships, having a chronic illness, or going through life transitions where something fundamental changes like your finances. Some research even says when you become a parent it can happen (cue all the over-tired moms with time-blindness). 

Essentially you go from thinking you have all the time, energy, resources, strategies, and ideas in the world to believing everything is limited and you need to mise/manage everything……and If you think about this, it’s true. 

As you get older you have less time, less energy, and MORE responsibilities taking up your resources and it makes sense to “effectively manage” those resources. However, when it becomes unhealthy, is when it goes from stewarding your resources, managing your time effectively, and budgeting to OBSESSING over not having enough. This can also lead to you restricting or isolating yourself so you don’t feel those feelings of “not having enough”. 

Think about it; if you don’t feel like you have enough money, and a friend asks you out for dinner, you can hesitate to join them and this is reasonable. However, what’s not reasonable is if you create a budget and include “eating out” because quality time with friends is a value of yours …..but you still feel guilty for eating out/spending money because you “FEEL” like you don’t have money, even though you OBJECTIVELY have money. It’s the reason why some people “feel broke” when they have $20,000 in their account and for other people that number is $1000 and for some people they NEVER “feel broke” even though they actually might be. 

It's the reason some people will never start their business because they are ONLY focused on the upfront costs rather than the potential ROI of being successful in that business. 

Scarcity mentality can sound like this: 

1. “I can’t afford to travel”, but in all honesty, you have never checked the actual cost of travel. You haven’t looked into travel rewards programs, cheap flights, or booking.com which allows you to lock in hotel rates 6-12 months in advance without putting a dime down. 

2. “I can’t write a book, I don’t have time, I'm too busy” when you haven’t even looked into how much time it takes to write a book or if there is anyone that can help you in the book writing process. 

3. “I can’t go to therapy to heal my mind, it’s too expensive” but I have never looked into low-cost therapy options AND booked a free consultation to even learn more 

4. “All of my friends are married, and I'm the only one that is single” when in reality you are on your path and you’re just feeling that way because life looks different.

5. I will never be less than 200 lbs, it’s just the way I'm built and I have PCOS so it’s 10x harder to lose weight. 

6. I can never get out of debt, I'm just not “good with money” 

7. I have ADHD, I just can’t concentrate so I don’t think I can have big dreams like other people, my brain just doesn’t work the same way. 

Does this sound like you? 

Just me? Ok cool cool cool 😅

The truth is, I have overcome SO much in my life despite having all these thoughts swirling around in my head. But more than the material possessions, the career progression, the accomplishments & awards, I’m MOST proud of my mindset.  My ability to change my mind and evolve is my biggest flex. I am truly committed to growth no matter what. So a lot of these narratives are no longer mine, thank God. 

Soooooo how is scarcity mentality kicking my butt, you ask?  Well in entrepreneurship…. Who knew that going full-time into your business would trigger a scarcity mentality? I certainly didn’t. 

The entrepreneurship journey started off well - the business was making money, I was signing clients, booking gigs and contracts, and growing the business…but then as my business grew my business expenses grew aka mo money mo problems. 

But it wasn’t even that my expenses grew healthily, they grew in a “fear-based” way. Meaning I was paying for things because I had made mistakes and didn’t plan properly in the first place. I once paid for a conference ticket twice because I was too impatient for the page to load to say “ticket purchased”. The more “stupid” mistakes I made because I didn’t read things properly or because I wanted to do things cheaply, the more I started to doubt myself and this mentality just started to grow. 

 It sounded/(sounds like)

“ I know this newsletter outlet will be good to promote my upcoming program, they have gotten me clients in the past but they are asking for $200 this year,  but last year it was only $100. What if I pay and “no one” signs up 🙄”

“I know this business coach can help me, but the last business coach didn’t help me as much as I thought” So what if this one is just like that last? And this one is more expensive 

“I would love to hire an experienced professional instead of a virtual assistant” but I can’t afford it, and I don’t even have time to interview, the business is sooo busy AND what if, I go through it and this person turns out to be ineffective? 

“I need to make $20K in January because that’s when people typically focus on personal and career development and I’m a career transition coach.  If Jan is not a good month then the rest of the year will also be bad”

Hmmmm as I write this, I’m realizing that I’m already working on MOST of these thoughts…I’ve actually come a long way. If I’m being HONEST, most of the things on this list just take patience and there’s nothing inherently wrong with me. LOOOL, I’m actually so dramatic; (not me processing my own thoughts in real-time as I write …thank God for blogging). 

Ok, well I think I’ve changed my mind. Scarcity mentality isn’t actually holding me back, I think I just need to trust God more and be more patient with my process. 

 Well this is awkward hahah 🤣🤣 ……thanks for coming along with me as I processed my thoughts out loud online. 

Hopefully, it helps you think about how scarcity mentality might be holding you back and it might now….full transparency I legit had to go back to the beginning of this blog to change the title haha the original title was “Scarcity mentality is RUINING my life” . 

Anyways…..

See you next time! 

Ibiyemi