My finances are a mess….or at least it feels like it

My finances are a mess.....

It’s not an infringement on my character, it’s not a shortcoming, it’s not even an insecurity….it’s simply a fact! 

I’m practicing this thing where I call things what they are “objectively” without attaching my identity or self-worth to it or taking it on like a moral failing. 

It’s just the truth. 

I have this “not-so-great habit” of “not checking my bank balance”, it turns out that if you are an entrepreneur, you kinda have to look at it more often than not. 

I’m not irresponsible or anything, I just get so preoccupied with trying to make money and fulfill my client work that I sometimes neglect the “managing it” portion of running a business. 

Before you come at me; 

I do in fact 

1. Have a Monthly & Annual budget, I update them monthly 

2. Have a tracker set up to forecast my earnings 

3. Reconcile my accounts every month through my accounting software AND

4. Have an accountant for tax time 

And yet…..my finances are a mess or at least they “feel” like a mess. 

Someone on the internet put it very nicely; she said “with adulting, it really is one thing after the other”. When you start getting comfortable with one area, BOOM there’s a plot twist around the corner. It’s almost like you can never let your guard down or else the whole system falls apart. 

Does anyone feel like this? Its like wow, I finally got my money right oops “unforseen landlord payment”, or wow i’m actually saving “psyche your basement just flooded” or like ok let me start investing “LOL stock market crashes” or yay, the fam is going to disneyland BUT you just scammed by a travel company. 

Sometimes its your fault because you didn’t check your email and missed the deadline to cancel that subscription and sometimes life just be lifing….quite frankly i’m tired. It feels like you are getting ahead only for some random expense to pop up and knock you back to square one. 

How are the girlies managing? Are we fighting back by investing more? Loading up our emergency funds? Or are we just accepting that sometimes you feel like a millionaire and sometimes the account is dryer than the Sahara desert? 

I genuinely want to know because wow….

I think the only time in my life that was relatively “stable” was those COVID years where I was still working full time, earning full salary but LOCKED up at home so I couldn’t spend money. Those felt like the good ole days to me. 

I really don’t have the answers but i’m hoping to discover them by documenting my thoughts in this blog and hopefully it comes to me. 

So here goes nothing…..

In all my years of managing my personal finances, here are some things I know to be true; 

1. God is my source periodt. 

2. Money anxiety is real and “obsessively checking your account” or “not checking your account at all” are 2 sides of the same coin 

3. Overspending on other people like gifts, attending birthdays, going for family parties and destination weddings  is still “overspending” if you don’t budget properly 

4. Paying my tithes (10% of my income to God) has ALWAYS yielded more than keeping the 100% for myself

5. “Hoarding” or NOT spending on your needs is a form of scarcity mentality not a badge of honor 

6. You can have a scarcity mentality if you have $1 in your account or $10,000 in your account - it doesn’t have a tax bracket 

7. UNDERSTAND how taxes work because if you don’t you will get caught up and they will take their money ( I have been audited about 3 or 4 times in my life, it's not fun) 

8. Having an emergency fund is a NON-negotiable 

9. Pick a splurge girl! You can’t like nice bags, shoes, trips, makeup, hair, clothes, experiences, dinners etc. all at the same time …..you’re not an influencer, you’re a REAL person. Don’t go broke trying to keep up in a lane you can’t afford 

10. Pray for supernatural increase BUT also pray for the wisdom to “steward” aka budget those finances well 

11. You will always pay MORE if you avoid you're not engaging with your finances at all 

12. Sometimes you have to pull your big girl panties and “learn about finances” or hire someone that can do it for you…in 2025 “I wasn’t taught how to manage my money” is not an excuse. 

13. And last but not least - you’re bank account does not define you. Whether in plenty or in lack, don’t get swayed by the numbers. God is the one that gives provision and sustains you - NOT your job, your parents, your business, your husband, your feet pics, or a fictitious sugar daddy (LOL -everyone during those university days has looked it up at least once 🤣 ) 

Ok i’m done……Ibiyemi, what did you learn from sharing?

 I think I learned that the devil cannot shame me into keeping silent about an issue that I KNOW a lot of us a going through. I learned that sometimes you can have all the systems and backups and life can still be life and it doesn’t mean you’re irresponsible or bad with money…it just means you made mistakes and life is lifeing. 

Do I feel better? Kinda. 

Thank you holy spirit for allowing me to share what’s weighing on my spirit in a way that doesn’t feel exposing but also vulnerable and authentic.

I hope you all can resonate and I feel less alone….

Till next time; 

Your girl navigating finances yet again,

Ibiyemi