Here I am stuck in the middle with you.....

In March, I felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to get out of all the partnerships/contracts I had made in my business (60% of my income, by the way). I even wrote about it on the blog because it was such a MASSIVE conviction. Well, it's been a couple of months, and although it’s still unfolding, I can see why He needed me to step away from those relationships. 

The truth is, moving back to Nigeria after being away for 17 years has been yet another transition. At this point, I’ve just been like LORD, when will I stop having to 're-invent” myself? As I say that out loud, that sounds insane, like I want to stop growing….I don’t. I think I’m just like "when will things finally slow down? ""Why can’t I be like other people?" "Why does my own always feel different?"

The truuuuth is, I’m a bit tired of the waiting season. 

• Waiting to meet the love of my life and get married 

• Waiting for my business to be this HUGE success 

• Waiting for my finances to pop the way it used to 

• Waiting to get into my own place again (actually that’s not true, being at home with my parents has been a blessing, not just financially, but spending time with them as they get older 

• Waiting to have babies….oh lord I want so many babies LOL 

• Waiting to finally lose the 30-40lbs that I’ve been gaining and losing for the last couple of years 

AND at the same time, I'm lowkey terrified of what all those things would do to my nervous system if I go through that much change. Like, imagine me being someone’s wife? As how? Or better yet, someone’s mother? While running a business, losing weight and managing a household….all those things sound like so much pressure. Am I even capable? 

So sometimes I feel stuck, trying to imagine what my future could look like while also barely hanging on in my present moment. My therapist always says that I need to leave the future where it’s at and focus on today, but I can’t help but feel like “maybe I’m wasting time?”

And now I've hurt my own feelings just trying to write this blog post. Lord, I need your help. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, being in the in-between sucks….you’re not where you used to be, but you’re not quite where you want to be. It’s uncomfortable and anticipatory…like going to the doctor's office knowing you could be waiting 10 mins to 2 hours. Do you get on with your life, or do you just wait there saying, “Any minute now?”

The only thing, outside of GOD that has truly been helping me in this season is people. Friends, family, community. People to speak life into me, people to give me perspective, people to love and encourage me, people to call me out, people to check in because the holy spirit secretly told them I needed a check-in. People have been instrumental in this journey of transition, and I’m so glad I have them. I’m not sure who I would be without my community, and I know God uses people, their stories, their encouragement, and their acts of obedience to reach His sons and daughters. 

One of the things I heard in that season with God about cancelling my partnerships was the word “serve” and the word “community”.....Initially, I thought I was meant to join a community, which I did, but it kept coming up that I was supposed to build one. So I did. 

It’s called My sister’s Keeper, and it's a faith-led community of women who are building side-hustles, platforms, businesses, and just generally doing what God has called them to do, but together. It's a community where we pray together, learn together, grow together and keep each other accountable to our goals. Essentially, I'm just looking for more sisters to join me on this ride called entrepreneurship and being a servant of God. If you’re interested, founding members get 20% off (MSK20) before June 22.

Ultimately….God is in control of this journey, my job is to be obedient, be a good steward and create space for God to move. 

As always, 

Ibiyemi