This Christmas, I’m so thankful for God’s faithfulness.
I can 100% say that if not for Jesus, I would not have survived and even thrived this year. 2024 has been one of the best years yet! I’m not even talking about the material things like travel, spending time with family, growing a business, overcoming lifelong fears, and living a baby girl lifestyle (even though all of that was great) BUT I’m talking about the life transformation.
I keep saying it and keep giving God all the glory because it was ALL Him in 2024. He transformed my life! He took me from an anxious, fearful mess to a God-assured, stepping-out-on-faith woman of God.
For years, I’ve suffered from anxiety over everything! Anxiety about the future, my health, and the health of the people around me. Anxiety about some social scenarios, anxiety over work, anxiety over driving, anxiety over heartbreak, anxiety in relationships, anxiety over food, weight gain, and weight loss. Anxiety about overworking and burnout, anxiety about the timing of my life (marriage, kids etc.) anxiety over being anxious (LOL, like being anxious and becoming anxious, if you know you know 😅).
This year, God took hold of me strapped me to Him, and walked me through every single one of those anxieties. He broke down my thinking, changed my perspective, and gave me a new song. The other day, I was telling my friend, I don’t really remember what anxiety feels like in my body or my mind. I know he says in the bible, that He will give us peace that passes all understanding and that’s what it feels like….it doesn’t make sense! For instance, I just did my business accounting, and although the business was successful in terms of revenue, I only paid myself $31K this year, but I did not lack for ANYTHING. The math literally doesn’t make sense. For context, that’s about the salary I got paid in my first job 10 years ago.
I used to be anxious about the timing of my life and future (marriage and kids). As a woman, when you get older and are still single, the world doesn’t even have to pressure you, you will start doing fertility math on your own. One random day, I was brushing my teeth and just doing the math in my head and God said to me in a Nigerian accent “Is it a small baby that you’re worried about?, do you know that I’m the God of the universe!, is there anything I cannot do” 😂 and from that day forward, I’ve been reminded that God has a plan for my future so I can rest.
I used to be anxious about driving, I’ll spare you all the details….I just couldn’t do it. This journey was a bit more gradual but essentially my driver didn’t work on Sundays so I couldn’t get to church here in Nigeria. I knew I needed to be in church and “this driving thing” was holding me back from experiencing God but slowly and surely He empowered me to overcome the fear. I remember the first day I got behind the wheel by myself. My mom was on the phone with me and I drove to church all by myself. Although I was holding my breath and shaking through out I made it and then I made it again and again and now I feel (mostly)comfortable behind the wheel. Fun fact, did you know that almost 65% of people feel driving anxiety? (we listen and we don’t judge).
I used to be anxious about being “cold”. For someone who has lived in Canada for over 15 years, you would think I would be used to it by now but alas, I am not. It’s not just that I don’t like it, it’s that I get fearful, depressed, and anxious that I will be left alone in the cold. Ask my bestie and former roomie, she would tell you my fear of the cold is real. There was a time when I was just in a mood, very anxious, scared, and spirally, and all I needed was warmth. I put on socks and a hoodie and I was back to myself. The world wasn’t falling apart, I was just cold. She always reminds me/teases me by saying “Remember Ibiyemi, you will not be cold, you are fine”, we thank God for best friends.
Anyway, this fall season, I was back in Toronto and God took me through an 11-week alpha course at church that started at 6:30 pm from September to December which meant I had to go out into the cold at night alone. It takes 2 buses to get to my church in Toronto; the first bus is always on time but the second one is always late. On the first week, I was 45 minutes late because I was standing out in the cold for 30 minutes by myself. When I finally got to church I was hyperventilating and crying and the pastor had to give me a moment to gather myself. He even prayed for me because I was damn near hysterical. Again God came through by changing my perspective about the cold. That bus was late 9 out of the 11 times I had to take it but by the 4th or 5th time, I found a way to cope and it didn’t hold me back from communing with God’s people.
There are soooooo many stories I could tell you of how I overcame anxiety and stepped out in faith with God’s help this year but this blog is getting long and it’s Christmas day and lunch is waiting.
I just want to encourage you, that the God that did it for me can do it for you, all you have to do is surrender to Him, get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and surround yourself with believers.
On this Christmas day, lord I’m so grateful you sent Jesus to die for my sins, I literarily don’t deserve it but I receive it every day and I can’t wait to see what adventure you take me on in 2025; maybe I’ll meet my future husband, who knows?
Till next time y’all, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Jesus baby/God’s favorite,
Ibiyemi
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