Waiting on God……why is it taking so long? And how to navigate.

We have all been there, and honestly, it’s one of the most painful and misunderstood seasons of life. 

Whether you’re: 

Waiting for a job 

Waiting for a spouse 

Waiting for a financial breakthrough 

Waiting for career progression 

Waiting for healing 

Waiting for a child 

Waiting on visibility (all content creators know this feeling…..you want virality BUT are lowkey comfortable in obscurity)

Whatever you’re waiting for, you can relate to the waiting season and the fact that it can be so uncomfortable. Some of us choose to use the waiting season as preparation, while others use it as a season to complain. Some view the waiting season as punishment, while others ignore it altogether because it's too painful to acknowledge. 

The truth is, waiting sucks… especially for our generation, we literally don’t have the skills. Between Uber Eats, microwaves, drive-thrus, social media, ChatGpt, dating apps, YOUTUBE we don’t wait for ANYYYYYTHING. I mean, even in our spiritual life, we would rather consume 2-4 sound bites from a sermon than go to church, and it's not necessarily our fault. We have basically grown up in a lifestyle where we can’t wait for anything at all; in fact, we think it's an insult, or something is wrong with us, if we have to wait, when in reality, ALL good things take time. 

A delicious meal takes time to slow roast and develop all the flavours 

A baby takes 9 months to grow and become healthy 

A career takes years of learning, failing, trying again, and development 

A good business takes multiple years of experimentation and will be successful if you don’t quit 

A strong relationship with God takes years of studying His word and walking with Him daily 

A healthy marriage takes years and years of routine, learning how to communicate, showing compassion, and dying to yourself daily. 

All the desirable things take a whole lot of time, and require a whole lot of preparation, diligence, and staying power ....yet we expect it to come on a silver platter at the snap of a finger?? WHY? 

I think one of the antidotes to waiting is really about getting perspective. I am in a season of waiting right now where I am actually waiting in MULTIPLE areas of my life for God to come through, and it's very easy to get tired of the waiting season. Watching others enjoy all the things you’re waiting for and questioning why your own seems different. It’s very easy to complain throughout the season and to feel like “woe is me” or “fake your way through it” and act like it doesn’t bother you, even when it’s eating you up inside. It’s also very easy to start to lose steam and hope that the things you're waiting for are even coming at all. And the worst one of all that is especially painful is when you think you are “doing everything right,” and in most cases, you are. You’re working hard, asking for help, being honest with your feelings, getting self-aware, studying scripture, going to church, serving your community, and still “nothing to show for it”.

The truth is, waiting on God can be a massive gift if you will let it be. 

I know, I know ....that's not what you want to hear; I promise, I'm not one of those Christians that just bypasses real pain with a nice “it is well” BUUUUUT in this case it is well LOL. 

It’s a gift to wait, and that is the perspective shift I got recently. God loves me soooo much that He doesn’t want me to get hurt by this BLESSING because I got it prematurely. The same way I don’t want to eat undercooked chicken because of food poisoning is the same way, I don’t want the blessing before its time. The bible says, “ He makes all things beautiful in His time,” and I believe the Bible, so it’s as simple as that. 

LOL only if….. 

For those of us who are human and struggle with believing God’s word, especially because it doesn’t look like anything is happening, gather here ....let me share what I have learned about how to navigate the waiting season. 

In no particular order: 

1. Be grateful - Notice how I didn’t say be joyful? That is coming, but it's extremely hard to be joyful when you’re in pain, so start with gratitude. Literally take out a piece of paper, or pull up your notes app, and write down a minimum of 10 specific things you’re grateful for. I’m not talking about wow, I'm grateful for life and for my family, etc. I mean specific things. You sometimes have to have a sense of humour about it. One of my married friends was like, " Be grateful that you don’t have to buy plane tickets for children in this economy and I was like FAIRSSSSSS lol. Doesn’t mean that it does not suck that I am still waiting for my own beautiful family one day, but for now, I'm grateful. So it can be as goofy or as serious as you want it to be. 

2. Do NOT, I repeat, Do NOT, compare yourself to other people - I know the temptation to say, " Oh, I’m behind, why haven’t  I done this yet, why is my own always different, I'm running out of time, look at my mates, etc. doing this will just drain your entire soul. First of all, you have NO idea what your mates are enduring in their own season. The things they did to get there, you can’t do it lol, that’s why it's their journey and not your journey. Secondly, praaay! Ask God to teach you to be genuinely happy for them and celebrate them even if you’re sad for yourself. It’s ok to feel sad, but don’t let it turn into bitterness. Also, take breaks from social media. If you have seen the 10th baby announcement on your feed in the last hour, my dear, put down the phone…..(also, why are all my examples about having kids? Must be ovulating or something 🤣). 

3. Pay attention to what you’re viewing/listening to - some of us, we like PAIN. We like to put ourselves under pressure. I will give you my personal example ....there was a season where I was struggling financially (lowkey still there, but God gave me a new perspective on it and I have more peace) anyways I was struggling financially and I started watching this youtube podcast about money. The channel is called “I will teach you to be rich” by Ramit Sethi, and this particular podcast was called " Money for couples". I started watching it because I was getting good tips about how to budget, how to plan my money, etc. He also does a great job at talking about the psychology of money, and you get to hear about how these couples navigate money in their relationships. Somewhere along the way, the podcast turned from being educational to now stressing me out and giving me anxiety about all the potential arguments me and my future husband MIGHT have because of money and how I don’t have the skills to talk about money with a man so I need to go and learn….the holy spirit just said “my dear, stop watching this podcast” you can’t watch it without feeling triggered or tight in your chest. When the time comes, I will teach you. So what are you watching or listening to that is triggering but you lowkey like the pain? Like, love is blind or Love Island? As someone who wants to love someone again, I can't be watching struggle love on the internet ABEG! No matter how entertaining it can be, it's actually making you more jaded and poisoning your heart, so please stop. 

4. Last but certainly not least, in fact, it’s the MOST important step; lean on God. Spend time in His word, hold on to the promises that He has given you. Read the stories of all the people in the bible that waited (spoiler alert, it was 90% of them). Learn from their mistakes on how to wait well. Ask God to show you what you’re supposed to be doing or learning in this season. Ask Him to show you the gaps you have or the misconceptions you have about the thing you’re waiting for. He will surely come through. Write down scriptures that talk about the waiting season and speak them over your life. Also, spend time in church, in your community, lean on them, ask them to pray for you, don’t isolate yourself. Waiting is hard, but it's 100% normal, and everyone can relate because everyone has been through it. Do not feel ashamed, the devil wants to lie to you that it's just you; you’re the only one struggling with this, you’re not. We all are! The human condition is full of waiting, so don’t take it personally. 

Your time is coming, so please take heart. 

The waiting season doesn’t have to be miserable; it can be peaceful and even joyful if you change your perspective. 

That’s it, that’s all I got! 

Till next time, 

Ibiyemi