After 3 years of juggling multiple roles especially with being a full-time worker and part-time MBA student, a lot of things fell through the cracks so what I hope for in the new year is good habits now that the MBA is DONNNNNE. *Collective sigh of relief*
Habits like doing groceries, cooking, and cleaning to start.
How did I get to this conclusion? Well, it all started when I began reflecting over the last year.
Not going to lie, reflection this year looks very different from years prior because it has been ad-hoc and random at best. Normally around this time of year, I review my old journals/blog, review my goals, try to identify themes, and then I usually write a reflection…. nevertheless, these are some of my thoughts somewhat organized through prompts.
What did I do last year? And who did I become?
In the past, I have largely focused on accomplishments and challenges BUT in 2021, what stood out for me is not all the things I did, but more so who I became in the process. I always say to myself, “Ibiyemi you are a human BEING, not a human DOING, and don’t you ever forget that”.
DOING - Last year I re-launched my business, revamped the Instagram page, identified a new target audience through a rigorous 8-month capstone project, and launched a new group coaching program.
BEING – I became someone who REALLY learned the meaning of “I can do all things THROUGH Christ who strengthens me “emphasis on the “CHRIST” part. Every time, I invited God into my day, my week, my month I had a supernatural energy to “get ish done”. I know this is NOT profound knowledge but like Jesus REALLY be out here carrying me through. I learned a Lifehack - If I prioritize him, over my “To-do” list, somehow my “To-do” list still gets DONE and with ease, so I might as well just invite him in.
DOING – Last year at work, I increased my productivity and sales numbers tremendously. I went from being #5 out of 6 to being #3 out of 7 on the sales team dashboard and get this…. I did LESS! Not going to lie, when I started the job, my transition was a STRUUUUUGLE because I went from being on a collaborative team to being on a super competitive sales team. I knew that I had ALWAYS valued collaboration over competition BUT woooow I didn’t know how much “competition” really affected my work product and ultimately my confidence. It’s wild that the sales world subscribes to this idea of “team competition” which forces you to compare yourself to your other teammates CONSTANTLY in hopes that you will be motivated to “out-perform them”. They call it “healthy competition” but honestly if you don’t have the right people or the right motive it can just breed, “hoarding of information”, “ineffective processes”, “sneaky practices” and so much FRUSTRATION.
BEING – Well I had to make a decision; I can either become more like others who were competitive and “SUCCESSFUL in sales” or remain like myself collaborative but STRUGGLING with my numbers?! I would like to say that I chose to be my authentic self, but I’d be lying….and guess what, it’s worked and my numbers rose BUT I felt disconnnnnnected from my work and myself. One day, the holy spirit reminded me of that bible verse “what does it profit a man to gain the world but lose his soul?” (Side note – you gotta love the bible, the only book that you read that also reads you back). Needless to say, God help me find a unique way to be myself, be who he called me to be in the workplace and the “leads” started pourrrrrring in. It was weird because it was almost as if for every 1 lead I gave away to my colleagues God blessed me with 2 or 3 more leads to cover it! (won’t He do it?!).
DOING – This year, I got diagnosed with PCOS a hormonal imbalance that affects 15% of women. There is no “cure” per se only management except no one tells you that management is going to require you to change your ENTIRE LIFESTYLE. Between my naturopathic doctor, personal trainer, therapist, and soon-to-be dietician, there are a lot of people involved and it’s a DECENT amount of work just to be healthy.
BEING – I realized that I am “NOT” my body and my value does not come from how I look or even how I feel but that it comes from who God is and who He says I am……you see, what I failed to mention is that I have been praying for healing in my body for the last 2 years even though I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Within 3 months God revealed the diagnosis and sent me all the help I didn’t even know I needed to manage this thing and for that, I am forever grateful.
DOING – This year in terms of “romance” has been a rollercoaster…..long story short, I went through so many phases from liking someone at the begging of the year to being disappointed to a brief 4-5 month stint at the door of despair 😂 😂(I can laugh now because I am not there anymore – we thank God). I also let go of this “idolization of relationship and marriage” (that I didn’t know I had btws) and now I’ve landed in a FANTASTIC spot.
BEING – One day, I was either praying or singing worship music while I was working, and God just revealed to me that the “how” is up to him and I don’t need to worry. He then gave me the perfect example, he said “look at your life, Ibiyemi….your career and your business specifically; you didn’t “DO” anything amazing to get here. I opened the good doors for you and closed the others on your behalf, are you really questioning how a man, is going to come into your life? and that was ALL the reassurance I needed.
So, what have I learned? I have learned that God is in control, so all I have to “DO” is “BE” where he is at! What am I leaving in 2021? My tendency to try to “do” things in my own strength. What am I taking into 2022? My ability to be still and listen to the holy spirit when I am being guided. It’s no coincidence that my Bible verse for the upcoming year is Psalm 32:8 – I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will counsel you with my loving eye on you……true story, this bible verse was given to me today “at random” in my mom’s prayer group for young women (shout to #Ribs IFYKYK).
FINALLY, to wrap up this LOOONG blog post; I asked myself “why am I focusing on habits in the new year?” and ultimately my only answer is because God told me to.
Happy New Year’s Eve EVERYONE, see you in 2022!
With love
Ibiyemi