It's been so long, about 1.5 months since I last got on here to share my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. So many things have been going on, I would say 90% good, 10% meh so I really can’t complain. I am now 8 months into my “excursion”/ extended trip to Lagos even though I said I was only going to be here for 6 months.
Truthfully, I am happier here! My life is so different in all the best ways. Don’t get me wrong, Lagos will always Lagos 9 times out of 10, but somehow I’m doing pretty well. I’ve done quite a bit of travel since I’ve been here with trips to 5 countries - Ghana, Kenya, Turkey, England, and Spain. I’ve started and stopped my “weight loss” journey about 4 times already, gone to 7 weddings, 7 birthday parties/celebrations, 2 first dates, and coached over 25 clients in my business. Found a church community, found 2 entrepreneurship communities for women of faith, and attended LOOOTS and LOOTS of family functions from chilling at home on games nights to 4 days in a Turkish villa. Life’s good.
Although this is not where I thought I would be at 32, it’s genuinely so much better. God has been so faithful by not only repeatedly blowing my mind but also giving me a new perspective on what it means to trust Him. I literally could not have predicted my time here if I tried. I was the girl that always needed to be in control, always needed to know the plan, always stuck to what she was "supposed" to do, and had crippling chronic anxiety in exchange. I remember having panic attacks because I didn’t know exactly how my life would turn out....newsflash girl, no one does, nobody can predict the future 🙄. For the first time in my life, I can truly say I don’t know what the future holds but I’m SO open to it. I have no idea what the specifics are like where I will live, who I will marry, what I will do, but I know that I’ll be good, I'll have God and that’s all that matters.
This year the lord has proven to me(not that he needs to) that He is indeed a trustworthy God. It’s not because I have it all figured out, or because I am super confident in my finances or intelligence, or because I have a great family (which I do) but because of his overwhelming peace. My heart doesn’t race and my hands don’t shake anymore because I know that God’s got me. I may fall off sometimes, and I may want to know the timing of my life because I can’t wait to meet my future husband (yeah I said it lol 🙃) but I TRUST GOD wholeheartedly.
Speaking of my future husband, wherever he may be, I think there was a time when I thought a husband would be great because “I’m just a girl” and I want to be taken care of. The way the holy spirit convicted me and told me that my future husband is not my savior, only God is. Sissyyyyyy that came for my edges and snatched my wig off hahaha. I had NO idea I even had that savior mentality. I’ve always said that I'm looking for partnership when it comes to romantic relationships AND that’s still very much what I want but God convited me about that as well! He said that I had made “sharing my life” an idol 😅. The truth is that God calls us to partner with him all day errr day. It says in Matthew 6:11 give us our daily bread. Not our weekly bread, or our monthly check-in but our DAILY bread. Bread is our sustenance, it gives us energy, gives us vitality, bread is life……AND he also says we can cast our cares onto him because he cares……PLUS he said he will never leave us nor forsake us. His word also says he is a provider and a protector. I’m sorry but aren't those the things that most women are looking for in a man? Someone to provide, and protect, someone who cares, and listens to our problems, someone who will not leave and always consider us when making decisions, someone who speaks life and gives us energy, someone who is supportive. God is truly the role model here. This is why I want a man of God, someone striving to be more like him daily, dying to his flesh and sanctifying his spirit (WOOSH)........ It’s one thing to think about the kind of man you want, it’s another thing to be the kind of woman that will be ready for that man. I can say confidently that I am becoming that woman every single day. Not because I’m trying to “attract” this man but because I also want to be more like Christ. I want to spend quality time with him, learn from him, sit by his feet, and truly seek him knowing that everything else will be handled and I don’t have to worry about it.
Wow this blog post was really not supposed to be about men or relationships haha it was supposed to be about giving an update on travel LOL. The holy spirit always has a way of hijacking the blog and I’m so incredibly grateful for it. Truthfully, I always feel weird giving updates on my dating/romantic life because I truly don’t spend a lot of time thinking about men and relationships even as a 32-year-old single woman currently in Nigeria. It just doesn’t cross my mind that often (even though my dad has made repeated attempts at bringing it up at family parties hahaha).
All that to say, I trust God, I trust the timing of my life, and ……oh because so many people have been asking, I'll be back in Toronto in a few months so don’t miss me too much 😂.
Till next time;
Your friendly neighborhood blogger who forgot she used to write;
Ibiyemi
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