I’m in transition y’all_pray for me 😅
Sooooooo I’m in transition YET again, but this feels different.
Your girl has not historically transitioned well from season to season even though the only constant thing in her life is change. Changing apartments, changing jobs, starting school, finishing school, starting a business all of those changes somehow throw me for a loop each time. I think what sucks is that as a human, I need routine. I’ve mentioned this a few times but I’m pretty sure I have ADHD even though I’ve never been formally tested (laughs in $2000 diagnostic test). What that essentially means is that if I’m taken out of my “normal” routine it actually affects me WAAAAAAY more than the average person. But living with ADHD also means I thrive in a constantly changing environment. It’s either a state of hyperfocus or inattentiveness. Basically, my life is an oxymoron.
I have learned to cope over the years, for one I write EVERYTHING down. Like seriously, I have 3 journals, a blog, and 934 notes on my notes app. I don’t write it all down because I am this amazingly structured planning being/thing, I do it because I will literarily forget. I think to an extent everyone forgets small things but I forget like huge “life revelations”. Now and then I will have a life-altering, fall on your face and cry epiphany about my life, share with my roommate, and be filled with soooo much purpose and passion but will literarily forget in like 3-4 months. I would inevitably go through the cycle again and share with my roommate and she would be like errrrr we already went through this. For the longest time, she thought I was making it up but after living with me for like 5 years she now understands /believes me when I say I don’t remember. ANYWAYYYYY this is not a blog about ADHD its about transitioning from one season to another.
In the last month or so, I have heard very clearly from God that change is coming and my initial instinct was to fear it….but he has brought so many people and messages in my life signaling this change so at this point I can’t really ignore it. So this blog post is an attempt to start the process of potentially embracing change 😅 (lol, I can't even commit to that sentence). So I’m in transition, what does that look like? Going to try and list the changes as best as I can;
Work - as most of you know, I got a new job 7 months ago, I am a new manager and that has been MORE challenging than anything I have ever done in my life. It’s almost like, when I level up, God stretches my capacity a little more. My biggest lesson so far is patience. I knew that I wasn’t the most patient person before but now I really have no choice but to be patient. I can’t react to everything instantaneously because my team would take my lead and we can’t be a team that is just reactive instead of proactive. It’s also not fair to them to have changing priorities. This means that I have to become more “observant” like actually think before I talk 🤣🤣🤣🤣. I know it sounds funny but I’ve never really been this person, I always think as I talk….like I process as I speak, even as I write this blog post, I don’t know how it's going to end. it's so fun because even I don’t know what I’m about to say half the time lol.
Body/Health - PCOS is a B*tch. You take 3 steps forward, and 2.5 steps back, so it’s exhausting. I’m working with a health coach and my lifestyle has to change EVEN more yay! That was sarcastic btw…..it’s just ALOT but I’m learning to speak life. God said I’m healed, then I’m healed, even though right now that looks like a million deficiencies and a million supplements. No joke, I counted and it comes up to 15 capsules a day. On the bright side, I have the cutest pill box :)
Church - God has been asking me to sing in church for like 7 years and each time I have made an excuse, I have feared it, and I have ultimately disobeyed. Well, a month ago, I heard the clear nudging again and this time I answered. I signed up to sing and today is my audition! To say I'm nervous is an understatement but God has got me so I'm going to sing to his glory. My bible verse yesterday was about the parable of the talents, the 5 the 2, and the 1. If you don’t know the story check it out in Matthew 25:14–30. I was convicted yet again to not bury the talent because of fear of failure but to put it to work as God as asked me to.
Relationships - Romance has been elusive all year and I basically stopped putting myself out there for so many reasons. I don’t want to be disappointed, I'm going through so many changes anyway why invite someone else into that? How am I supposed to have a fruitful relationship when Nigerian men can sometimes be annoying LOOOOL (let’s be honest, that’s a factor 🤣🤣). It’s a good thing, God is teaching me patience in this season. Again, pray for me y’all, I’m ready to put myself out there again.
Business - DON’T even get me started on my business…..I decided to take a break in August because it was a slow month and now I basically have ZERO motivation and ZERO ideas. I have filmed content, created graphics, and created content for LinkedIn but have I posted any of it? Nope. I feel like I have no idea what I should be doing with it. I did end up supporting another entrepreneur with their career programming that starts in Oct but for whatever reason, I can’t get myself to press in on my own thing. I know I’m in transition there as well because the business is going to look different than it has in previous years but I just don’t know how. So for now, the pause continues (even though, I have business bills 😅).
Mental health - recently this ADHD thing has been affecting me as a leader and I’ve been on a mini journey trying to understand my brain. I shared on Linkedin randomly and this ADHD leadership coach reached out to me and gave me a FREE coaching session and wooooow…it was a very eye-opening conversation. The biggest takeaway is I can take the diagnostic test for $349 CAD instead of the traditional $2000+ using this new app called Frida. He also told me about the book - Taking charge of adult ADHD. I think is something I have coped with for many years and instead of denying it, I’m on a mission to learn more about it so that I can continue to thrive.
So that’s it! Your girl is tired but as always, she’s committed to growth. Again, pray for me, I would appreciate it. Transition in life is inevitable, so the sooner you embrace it, the better you will feel. My bible verse this morning is Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plan in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. I always thought that this was discouraging because what’s the point of planning if God is just going to swoop in and change them? But this morning I got a new revelation about it….this verse doesn’t mean don’t plan cause God is going to change it all, it means to make all your plans, be excited about the future, don’t fear potential disappointment because no matter what God’s will is going to prevail. You are free and safe knowing that your plans will not doom you because God is ultimately in charge and will take care of you.
I don’t know about you but I am going to HANG unto that, in this highly uncertain season of our lives as people living in 2022.
Anyhow, thanks for listening….I hope it helps anyone else out there going through transition and feeling like S*IT, I get it and we can get through it.