If I could sum up this season of my life, I would call it the season of “new”. I swear this whole year has been just new beginnings, necessary endings, and messy middles. I’ve been finding myself a little tired and slightly overwhelmed and I was wondering what was going on and then my spirit reminded me that there are a lot of new things happening in my life.
New year - does anyone else still find it weird that the date ends with 2024? Every time I journal, I'm like, that can’t be right, can it? And before you blink, it’s almost in April which doesn’t make sense because that’s Q2….am I the only one who finds that trippy?
New business - this season of business has felt brand new in so many ways. I’ve had to revamp my systems yet again because the business is in “build phase”. No one talks about how building a business is so draining. Navigating between activities that are building for the long run vs. the things that are bringing in revenue now has been a dance like no other. Because my business is service-based and relies heavily on my brain, building/learning while managing active clients has been proving a tad difficult. I find myself wanting to close down my intake for new clients while I build but then the other side of me is like girl what about “income”?.... Basically, capitalism is kicking my butt lately. I also hired a new team member to help out with my projects and I'm pretty sure she thinks I’m nuts because I go between “this is really important, pay attention to it” to like “abeg, I can’t come and kill myself, we are not curing cancer, let’s relax”. I also hired a business coach because I am building a new coaching program, yet ANOTHER new thing. This program is so robust and requires me to learn and execute almost immediately while simultaneously trying not to second guess myself. I can’t lie, I need prayer yall, the number of times I’ve wanted to quit because I keep thinking “Who sent me?” but alas, I’ve already paid for the coach's services so I’m locked in for the long haul. At this rate, I would be grateful if this program soft launches by July because I’m tired.
New (old) friends - Since being at home, I have reconnected with a few old friends from my childhood and it has been incredibly great to see where everyone is at now. But they also have friends and I’m the “new kid” LOL It takes me back to uni days, making friends all over again. Except this time, those friends are in widely different stages of life. Some are married, engaged, have kids, single, and everything in between. I have to say I'm learning a lot from everyone I’m meeting AND of course you know it’s bringing up some things for me. Needless to say, I found a local therapist here in Lagos, to help me attempt to unpack all “the things”.
New church community - when I first got to Lagos, a couple of months ago, I was still keeping up with my Toronto church online but with the 6-hour time difference, it was impossible to maintain the discipleship that I was getting. The journey to finding a church was interesting in that I didn’t try. To be fair, it was crippling to think about; I knew I didn’t want to go back to my childhood church for many reasons that are neither here nor there so I had to find an alternative. So I thought, well Lagos has so MANNNNY churches, how hard can it be to find a church? I reached out to people I know in Lagos to ask them where they went and I got lots of answers, checked a few Instagram pages, etc. but couldn’t decide. The truth was that my biggest deterrent to finding a local church was actually not about the church at all but more about transportation. You see, my driver doesn’t come on Sundays, so wherever I chose, I would have to drive myself. I’ve talked about it on the blog extensively, but I don’t particularly enjoy driving, and then you add driving in Lagos to the recipe and you just get me as a nervous wreck. The holy spirit convicted me for weeks to the point that I was like ok “Ibiyemi, this thing is holding you back from connecting with God’s people”. I kept thinking about the people in the bible and the various reasons they were afraid and how they still did it anyway because they knew God was with them. My mom told me about this church that was in my neighborhood, and because I didn’t want to drive far, I started going there and WOW, God has been so intentional. He really does use what the enemy meant for evil and turns it around for good. He really does use foolish things to confound the wise and he does infact make all things work together for good. This church has been an answered prayer and I’ve been reconnecting with God in his house and I’m so grateful. Does this mean that I don’t still get scared behind the wheel on the streets of Lagos? no, I'd be lying if I told you that my stomach doesn’t flip and my hands don’t shake BUT every week that I’m Obedient and I keep showing up, it shakes a little less, and for that I’m grateful. Side note, I encountered 2 okada (motorbike) driver’s driving one way today 🙄. God helps me sha.
New relationships with my long-term friends; having long-distance best friends is GHETTO AF. The fact that I can’t just rock up to their house, or Facetime them because when they are working I am sleeping and when they are sleeping I am working is NOT fun. I’ve adopted the art of random voicenotes, long-ass text messages, Instagram close friends stories, and everything in between. But nothing beats an impromptu 3-hour conversation on Saturday morning with my bestie about nothing and everything. No word of a lie, we legit just created a recurring google meeting to “chop it up”. It’s necessary for our collective mental health. It’s funny how you can go from being in the daily life of your best friend to getting sporadic updates. I’ll take it but it’s still sucky.
New relationship with my family: Being at home has been a blessing and has been an adjustment, to say the least. Forging new relationships with my siblings, nieces, and nephew has been wonderful. They actually call me Aunty Ibiyemi now instead of just randomly waving to me at Christmas, like who is this stranger? They usually come up to me and give me hugs and all. It’s not all the time because they are kids who are more interested in their games but once they recognize me/once their parent says “Say hi to Aunty Ibiyemi”, they do. Sometimes they call me just Ibiyemi to which Nana says “That’s Aunty Ibiyemi, to you”. Nana is my mom, of course, she refuses to go by grandma and honestly, it makes sense because she’s really not your typical grandma. The grandkids absolutely adore her and why wouldn’t they, she shows up for them in so many ways, from school pick-ups, homework, ice cream dates, our Sunday afternoon hula hoop sessions, and everything in between. It can be very fun but boy sooooo exhausting when someone is screaming at the top of their lungs for more pancakes. Let’s just say, God has been showing me the reality of what it’s like to have little kids. I can’t forget the littlest of them all though; my 6-month-old baby niece who is growing up way too fast in my opinion, her mother would beg to differ LOL. I have learned the most from her in the last couple of months. When I first met her she was 2 months old and I was so nervous to watch her but it was my like mothering/nurturing instincts just kicked in and now I can’t get enough of that little girl. Again God is so intentional to break down some of my deepest fears including motherhood. I’m not a mother (yet…..) but I’ve learned so much from my sister and sisters-in-law up close that I feel way more confident (thank God) about this future journey. I am honestly so in awe of the women in my family, my gosh! They are powerhouses, nurturers, beautiful, kind, and assertive, and they run their households so elegantly with the most grace! I mean, it’s incredible. I knew this in theory when I was in Toronto but seeing it in practice up close has been phenomenal.
New convictions, I think God has been speaking to me about modesty in my dressing….either that, or my algorithm is just wired a certain way. I don’t typically dress indecently on a normal basis but I’ve also never really paid too much attention to it. It was when I started going to church that I realized, I have “nothing nice to wear”. All my nice things, usually have slits, or boobs/back showing or fit a certain way. IDK God is still working on my y'all, I’m still in progress, but I'll keep you posted.
New relationship with my body; I've been on a nutrition plan for about 3 months now and have been trying to be more consistent in the gym and I can’t lie it’s bringing up old memories of my body. I have mixed feelings about this one. Although I appreciate my body and the fact that it allows me to work, play, love, and engage with the world, I sometimes have hangups….mostly related to PCOS and I’m so over it. The truth about PCOS is that you can never really “hack” it because it is so heavily dependent on a certain lifestyle. Any time there is a change or transition in your life, it’s almost like you have to figure it all out again. It’s times like this that I wish I was a man because going through hormonal changes when you are a 30+ woman, can be such a rollercoaster. I can’t even imagine the women who are pregnant or new moms, your body must just be “going through it” with all the changes. Nevertheless, we live to fight another day. I only have 1 body, so I will try my best to steward it while showing myself grace when I’m in a new environment.
I think that’s mostly it, there are a lot more new things that don’t require their own section but are honorable mentions, new sunscreen, new hair salon, new nail tech, and new eyebrow lady…..ok I’m starting to see a theme, theses are all beauty related hahaha. Any woman will tell you that getting settled in with a new beauty routine with new beauty specialists can be ALOT. I feel like, I’m wrestling with either maintaining my normal beauty standards or adapting to the beauty standards of the place I’m in now. That can be a whole think piece and I’m already tired. Ultimately I think it’s a bit of both.
Nevertheless, I want to offer some encouragement to you and to myself. If you find yourself in a new place, doing lots of new things, give yourself grace. If you are newly married, newly moved to suburbia, a new parent, or working a new job or even a new work schedule; please remember there is a learning curve and you will master it. It’s not always going to feel like there are a million balls up in the air. Take solace in the fact that you will figure it out. Unfortunately though, your reward for “figuring it out” is unlocking a new level of adulting you have to figure out again.
You got this, God’s got you and you will live to fight another day.
Ok....wow, Editing Ibiyemi here; I was just looking for an image for this blog, and I typed in I am doing a new thing and Isaiah 43:19 pictures came up. It reads "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert". I just burst out crying because that is the only word I received from God (through a friend) when I was setting out on my trip/mini move to Lagos. Wow, I had forgotten all about it. Truth be told, I didn’t really understand it and I thought it was generic. Ofcourse God will give me a word about “doing new things” when someone makes a big move but wow my mind is blown. I immediately heard this maverick city song in my spirit that says “he’s making ways in the wilderness, he is making rivers in the deserts. So don’t fear, I will be your song, Sing, sing oh barren land, water is coming to the thirsty, though you are empty, I am the well draw from me, I will provide. I’ve loved this song forever and I just looked it up and it’s called Isaiah’s song 🥺 brb going to dry my tears. I never knew why it was called Isaiah song! Wow i’m so encouraged. Honestly, this is why I love blogging, I never know what's going to come up, thank you God for this revelation.
Anyhow, thanks for coming along with me on this journey of doing a new thing!
Bye for now;
Ibiyemi