In my "Obedience Era"...... Ok God what's next?
The thing about Obedience is that it's uncomfortable, inconvenient, stretching, and terrifying at times but also incredibly freeing and immensely rewarding.
In about 2 weeks, my life as I know it is about to drastically change and I'm lowkey very excited but very much feeling like Peter on the water when God called him to come. The truth is, I don't know what is going to happen, I'm stepping out into my "Obedience era". I've tried it my way, controlled variables, and held on tightly to blessings of former seasons and now I'm giving it up and surrendering to God.
At this point, I should call this blog the "transition" blog. I feel like ALLLL I talk about these days in transition and that's because that's been my life for the last 2 years. I started reading this book called "Radical Obedience" by Jem Jackson (recommend to anyone going through a major transition). My biggest takeaway from the book is that in order to Obey you need instructions aka you need to hear from God. It's pretty self-explanatory but I've missed it for so many years. I've had selective obedience because I've been a control freak for soooo long. It's my natural inclination to "do first" and then ask God to guide and bless it.
So how do I hear from God? How do you know what to Obey? There are many ways to hear from God and I'm not about to turn this blog into a lecture in hearing from God 😂. But my primary way is through people, church sermons, etc. But I decided to challenge it," What if instead of relying on others, I can attempt to hear God for myself". I started with prayer, and not just talking at God for however long but by praying and listening. It's something my mom taught me ages ago that I forgot aka was too busy to implement because most of my prayers had turned into pleading. But I put a twist on it…..I do this thing called "prayer journaling" so instead of saying out my prayers, I write them out. As God speaks I write it down, and I get so much clarity from his words. It's honestly been instrumental in this season.
I think in retrospect I've always run to "action" because I have misunderstood a very popular Bible verse that says "Faith without works is dead". I always thought you have to put action behind your faith. You can't just have faith and leave it be and hope things will work out. And although this is true, not all action is created equally. Most people's famous example is "You can't believe God for a job and then not send out your resume" or "You can't be believing God for a husband and not put yourself out there? You have to leave your house, you have to position yourself, etc. Your husband is not going to find you in your house. And although I understand the sentiment that people are sharing, it's not the full story. Because I have seen people get jobs without sending out resumes, I have seen people find their husbands in their homes 🤣🤣🤣. What am I saying? I'm saying "Ask God". Your strategy might be different. The works part is not just "what the world says" it's not even necessarily what the church says " it's what God says. Peter didn't just walk out on his own, Jesus said come. Now can we get instructions from our spiritual leaders? absolutely, can we get wise counsel? Please do, can we get words from prophetic people? Yes, you can BUT if you are confused, overwhelmed, and have a tendency to take on every single person's instruction, then just ask God. He says in James 1:5-6 that if any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
I'm going to be honest and share a story only a few of my closest friends know…… when I was 29, I received a word that I would meet my husband at 30. Or should I say I believed that I got a word? In retrospect, I heard people say this over my life but I never went back to God to confirm the word. I acted on that word, and of course, in that season, I ended up meeting someone and I took that as confirmation, "You see it's going to come true" but I never ever asked God to confirm. The relationship ended and I don't feel like going into all the details but I was left devasted. Devasted not because it was the perfect relationship but because I felt like God left me out there and let me down. He gave me this word and it didn't come true. All these doubts about whether I could trust God started flooding my mind….I was a little mad, and embarrassed because I had told people. That was an example of latching on to other people's words for my life without ever lining it up against what God had told me. So now I'm very attentive to the voice of God, he quite literally said "My sheep know my voice".
So what's next for me? I honestly don't know. Don't ask me what the plan is, cause I have no answer, I'm relying on daily bread at this point. God has revealed bits and pieces to me and I'm grateful for it but I'm also holding it loosely should things change. All I know is the safest place to be is in obedience to God. That is precisely why this is my Obedience Era and best believe I'm uncomfortable AF 😅.
Till next time,